To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There was once a time at the evil empire when Ryan and I used to amuse ourselves when we had a free moment. One afternoon, we nearly pissed our pants over this gem which stays in our hearts and lexicon today. Bubb, we'se onna pour out a fo'ty on the curb for y'alls.

Nostalgitude: Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis

I love language, as you'll know from this post, but when I came across this prose, I had to show it off as a great example of WTF:

"With physical Mars now in earthy Taurus, as he receives a blast from Uranus the Awakener, you Goats are primed and ready for action."

Proofreading is your friend. People expect horoscopes to be kooky (I keep this on my iGoogle just for Esses and Gees) but this may be a bridge too far.

Englishitude: My Inexblicably Poorly Written Horoscope

Puga and I had to attend a mandatory training course one week to learn how to program in Java. It was pretty dreadful, and we ended up making our own fun. First Puga invented an applet that basically made you trip out if you looked at it (it DID start out looking like a tree when he started, as per the manual.) The other thing we ended up doing was scouring the interwebulator. We came upon this, and it was only due to a recent discussion about spamusement and other gems of dissociation from work that we remembered this pantpisser's delight, Click through to see some amazing reinterpretations of the original covers from the popular "Choose Your Own Adventure" series.

Triumphs of Interwebitude: Choose Your Own Adventure Covers

We're all familiar with White Trash. It's not hard to see or make fun of WTs because the humour is so base. But what about the other 1/3 of society? What about those who live comfortably, but can't seem to make things leap from the pages of Instyle magazine seamlessly into their daily lives? In the words of Kim of Australia's Kath and Kim, "It's not easy being a hornbag." Kath and Kim takes place in suburban Melbourne where Kath lives a highly erotic life with partner/purveyor of fine meats Kel (and one damned fine hunk of spunk.) Kath's adult daughter intermittently lives at Kath's townhouse, depending on whether her and her husband are speaking, and depending on their "effluence." The show is a perfect pastiche of middle class suburban life regardless of location. The characters are all broadly drawn, but it is a pleasure to watch whereas most American familial sitcoms have been long dead since the Simpsons rolled into town to eviscerate the medium. They also take turns answering the tough questions, like "The Jade Tikis vs the Fuzzy Kiwis" (vis-a-vis which earrings are more appropriate with a Mango Espadrille) It's well worth searching about a bit to get your hands on. More info here, and clip follows:

Teevitude: Better than Tim Tams: Kath and Kim

In a recent discussion with Puga, we recalled a fond time at the evil empire when we spent the better part of a day reading the comic stylings of spamusement (and making a lot of people wonder wth was so gee dee funny.) The concept is simple, and the execution is incredible: titles of spam emails translated into comic panels (pictured here is "Impress the Females") What's great is that they are very rarely literal translations of the material. The author really has fun with the subject manner in a way that doesn't go to the lowest common denominator. Enjoy, and poisson urinal!

Interwebitude: Spamusement

Anyone who knows me knows 2 things: 1) I love costumes, and 2) I love to call people douchebags. It is no surprise, then, that when I happened upon this website, I was instantly charmed. Like another humour site, spamusement, Rock and Roll Confidential's Hall of Douchebags is a treat for the eyes, and an instant pick-me-up for office doldrums. This is a well-edited collection of bad band photos that is purely shittastic. Once you begin your trip through the hall, be prepared to lose yourself for an hour or more. The humour on the site is incisive, inflammatory, and spot-on. Interesting is the curator's note that a great many bad band photos are taken at train tracks, in front of brick walls. Give'r.

more douchebags here

Interwebitude: Rock and Roll Confidential's Hall of Douchebags

Although I am often told I laugh at everything (Corey used to have a poem about me laughing, and that laugh was FAMOUS when I was at the evil empire) I am picky when it comes to "Comix." All that changed the day I opened up HK magazine and caught my first Tom The Dancing Bug comic. From then on I was hooked on the crazy throwbacks, searing assessments of celebrity culture, old tymey references, and of course liberal disgust with the current administration. It's actually staggering how much diversity there is in the strips from week to week, and some of them are so detailed, they take a while to read. He never loses his bite, in any given week, a bite I would liken to an old bitchy drunk lady at the country club. (It's FANTASTIC!) It's here for your perusal and RSS is here.

Comix: Tom the Dancing Bug

This is not another "LOLLERZ VIDS" site, but this movie is pretty damned funny and I'm posting it for selfish reasons. This clip reminds me of when Ryan and I used to work at the evil empire and make each other piss our pants. Long live catty comments, der fingerpoken, Heat magazine's ARSEMARES and this, 80's ending....

Interwebitude: Oldn but a Goodn: 80s ending

If the phrase "Who DIS?" ran through your mind when you saw this mug, you are NOT ALONE, my friend. Soon, you will be hearing his voice OVER AND OVER AND OVER once Ratatouille comes out (no this is not an ad for a Disney movie, I take birth control, thank you very much!) But BETTER than that (and better still than King of Queens, Patton's other meal ticket, being cancelled) is that Patton has his sophomore comedy album coming out this summer on Sub Pop. Honestly, I peed a little the first time I heard "feelin' kinda patton" (his routine called "facts about midgets" made me nearly crash someone's car.) Now, in his newest release, he takes on Cirque du Soleil, and the morning after pill, with hysterically funny results. The album drops July 10, 2007.

Laughitude: Coming Soon: More Awesomeitude from Patton Oswalt