I visited the family this weekend and on a trip out with my mother, we bumped into this woman who lives next door to the house in which my late Grandfather used to live. She told my mother she had a package for her. It seems that the new owners of the house have decided to renovate, and removed the old gas range (classical midcentury design if there ever was such) in favour of new fixtures. SFW? I'll tell you SFW... they found postcards and letters which had fallen behind the oven. Among them is this gem... in keeping with my Great Aunt Gladys and my Grandmothers' bad taste. Click the thumbnail for larger version.

Nostalgitude Special Edition: Postcard from beyond...

I don't normally go apeshit on acid over peoples' grammatical gaffes, but this one is getting a little out of hand. I love reading blogs and online news outlets, but, babies, you need to RTFM where the manual is a dictionary (or at least spell check. Here now, we shall discuss 3 words who are homonyms, but are not the same usage:

Peek: this is the same as "peeping" or sneaking a look at something. Refrencing a clandestine visual experience. This is the only usage for this term.

Peak: many people attempted to reach the peak of the Matterhorn. several died. This refers to the summit of something, tangible or intangible (i.e: the peak of his career.)

Pique: to raise interest in, excite, or irritate. "She removed her panties under the table, thus piquing his interest."

With this handy, dandy guide,you can write without looking like a hayseed to people who have better education than you. As Brad Hamilton from Ridgemont High would say "Learn it. Know it. Live it."

Englishitude: Peak, Pique, and Peek

I loves me some celebrity gossip, but only of the most AWFUL variety (like hookers, blow, illegal cockfighting, etc) so, I am getting a little sick of the weaksauce filler that is "bumpwatch." This lameass "reporting" has hit fever pitch since this summer's fashions are all about empire waists and flowing bodices. Lately, Katie Holmes, Nicole Ritchie, and other people whose lives have infinitely more secrets than a bun-ed oven are being targeted daily in a vain attempt to find a bump.

Here is a pic taken of me several weeks ago, and I am as barren as a Chernobyl maple tree. However, due to the crazy pattern and flowing design, I look like I'm a full-on Prego. But, as you can see in the second picture... flat stomach. I just wish we could go back to a simpler time, when gossip columnists went on "adulterywatch," "pisstankwatch" and "gaywatch."

Richard Gere Posse: Everybody's "Pregnant"

Last week, a group of peeps rolled up to the Delta Bingo in Downsview for what we thought was a night of BIG MONEY. What happened instead was a cautionary tale worthy of Degrassi.

We bought some double strip mess on the advice of the chick in he office. We were chastised for "dabbing too loudly." And received many a hairy eyeball for "giggling."

Later, we tried some of the cuisine. The special was Liver'n'Onions, but no one was brave enough. Instead, a few rounds of chicken fingers were bought. No one got salmonella!

Later, they announced the score of the Stanley Cup Game.

Later still, J-M won! 20 dollhairs. He is well on his way to building a fortune.

Then, it went all pear-shaped. The woman who yelled at us for our dabbing technique won 3 gs. Then, in reference to a dollar store pregnancy test that was discovered on the trip to get the dabbers, we held an open forum on "how much pregnant lady urine a man would have to drink to trip a dollar store pregnancy test?" If anyone knows, please drop us a line.
Also of note is this delightful rendition of "Michaelangelo" from TMNT that was done by J-M in bingo dabber. I would say it captures a moment quite well.

Schadenfreude: Delta Bingo

While this blog is intended to mostly highlight the things in my own life that I find awesome, there are those times when things are NAFF and I must speak up about them. For those times, there is the clasification "Richard Gere Posse"
This term, meant in a derogatory manner stems from a conversation I had with my BFF (dre, you know who you are) whereby I got unnaturally angry at Richard Gere for something unrelated to him. As such, the name lives on, and you will see this delightful picture to signal when something is "not on"

Explanation: Richard Gere Posse

I'll tell you what the eff this shiz is about. This shiz is about stuff I really like and think is awesome. There's animaltude: of and pertaining to awesome or cute animals, gossitude: celebrity gossip that i think is killer, cosmitude: cosmetics and prettiness, nerditude: of and pertaining to nerdish or technical things, and orgitude: stuff to make life easier. teevitude/movitude: movies and tv. (more categories to come as soon as i can "itude" them)

enjoy bitches!

So, what the eff is this shiz all about?